What do you really want?

“Then they believed his words; they sang his praise. But they soon forgot his works; they did not wait for his counsel. But they had a wanton craving in the wilderness, and put God to the test in the desert; he gave them what they asked, but sent a wasting disease among them.”  (Psalm 106:12-15)

What do cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic have in common? One answer is that these are all things I have received over the summer from friends and church members whose gardens produce more than they can eat. I could add tomatoes, grapes and okra to the list. Serving in a rural area certainly has its advantages.

However, I wonder if your mind went instead to a verse in the Bible. Cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic were all things the Israelites said they missed from Egypt, along with fish (Numbers 11:5).

Had Egypt been a good place to live? We know that it wasn’t. The Israelites had been slaves there, and their oppression had worsened when Moses asked Pharaoh to let them go. They cried out for deliverance. And God rescued them miraculously: sparing their firstborn, providing silver, gold and clothing as they left, leading them by cloud and fire, and parting the Red Sea so that they crossed on dry ground

On the other side, they celebrated God’s deliverance with singing and dancing. Surely such an amazing experience would keep them trusting God for months, if not years. Yet just three days later, they were complaining because the water was bitter (Exodus 15:22–24). Three days! God provided water, but soon they were complaining again, this time about a lack of food (Exodus 16:2–3). In response, God provided them daily with manna.

By the time we reach Numbers 11, the Israelites have spent nearly a year at Mount Sinai. They have received God’s law, constructed the tabernacle and recently celebrated the Passover, a year after leaving Egypt. Now, at last, they are setting out towards the promised land.

How long before the grumblings start? Again, just three days into their journey, they are complaining about their misfortunes (Numbers 10:33; 11:1). Then comes another complaint (verse 4): this time about the monotony of the food God has been providing for them each day. They want meat!

This desire for meat, however, is only a symptom of a deeper issue: they are dissatisfied with God’s provision and with God himself. But rather than bringing their request to the one who has rescued and sustained them, they grumble and weep. And as they do so, their memories begin to change. Suddenly, Egypt was wonderful. They had feasted on fish, cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. Now all they have is boring manna every day.

God has given them what they had longed for when they were slaves in Egypt: deliverance. But now they don’t like what that deliverance looks like. Their dissatisfaction with the present distorts their memory of the past.

Again, God gives the people what they ask for. He promises them meat, not just for a day or two, but for a whole month! In fact, they will eat it until it comes out at their nostrils and becomes loathsome to them. God not only answers their expressed desire; he also identifies the deeper issue. In rejecting God’s provision, they have rejected God himself (11:20), and so getting what they ask for becomes part of God’s judgement on them.

Paul tells us that the events of Israel’s wilderness journey “took place as examples for us, that we might not desire evil as they did” (1 Corinthians 10:6). A few verses later his warning is even more direct: we must not grumble, as some of them did (10:10)

We too can easily think, “If only I had this one thing, then I would be happy”. Perhaps a pay rise, a different job, better health, or a relationship restored. Of course, God invites us to bring our requests to him, but we deceive ourselves if we think that receiving that one thing will make us content. Before long, another desire will take its place.

Numbers 11 invites us to ask some uncomfortable questions. Have I become so focused on what I don’t have that I’ve stopped noticing what God has already given me? Have I begun to believe that getting one particular thing will bring me the contentment I should be finding in God himself?

Augustine prayed in his Confessions: “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you” (1.1.1). Our restless hearts will always find another cucumber, melon, or leek to long for. What we most need is not more of God’s gifts, but God himself.

By Lorna Ferguson